Category Archives: queer

Mad Skills

I’m taking yet another sick day, but heck, it’s only because it feels like my sinuses are dripping liquid fire down my throat.  It could be worse.

I’m finding it hard to sit upright, so I’ve made very little progress on Greg’s mitten.  I also had to frog it a couple of times to get a size that I think it more reasonable.  My partner has helped me by trying it on.

I’m hoping the striping pattern is masculine enough.  I guess we’ll have to see.

The sky is dismal and grey today, and I feel like it’s almost making an apology for my illness.  “It’s okay to not do anything today;  look at how gross it is outside.”  I washed the dishes and cleaned the cat box in the meagre hope that my old-fashioned industrious guilt would be subsided, but it was all for nothing.  I’m awash in phlegm and shame.

Even the cats are looking at me with condemnation.  My partner (aka Knight in Shining Armor) brought me an enormous jug of orange juice yesterday (ain’t he a peach?) and the cats are just shocked and horrified at how I’ve been guzzling it down.  It’s a terrible catch-22:  I’m too weak to cook, and I’m also not hungry whatsoever, so what’s the incentive to eat?  Orange juice with pulp counts as food, right?

Although, the cats could be staring because I’ve lost the ability to keep from listing to one side or the other when I walk.  Patrick is beautiful in this light regardless.

In a completely unrelated note, I read an absolutely epic article from Esquire yesterday entitled The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master.  An aside:  all I could smell when I typed the title was Old Spice and Bud Light.  You try it and tell me what you smell.

I went through the 75 skills to find out how manly I am – you know, just in case this information proves valuable in the future.  I got a whopping 55 out of 75, which is mighty impressive for a petite vegetarian feminist who doesn’t have a drinking problem or a car.

I think my favourite aspect of the article is the portrait it paints of the uninitiated men.  You know, the men that can’t sew a button (number 20), remove a stain (number 48), or iron (number 71).  Or the men that can’t master the culinary art of eggs sunny side up (number 50) or bacon (number 61).  I have this image of Ordinary Joe, sporting velcro shoes, stained sweatpants, and a t-shirt endlessly smashing eggs and bacon into the sidewalk in an effort to have breakfast.  Tragic!

But where is this advice coming from?  What about giving succinct advice (number 1), taking a photo (number 3), delivering a eulogy (number 63), holding a baby (number 62), tying a knot (number 69) or understanding basic wilderness survival (numbers 51, 55, and 68) is masculine?  What about knowing car maintenance (number 35) or how to play a sport (numbers 4, 11, 33, 65, 66, and 67) is manly?  Brand loyalty (number 60) doesn’t seem very manly to me, nor does referring to someone as a son of an expletive (number 64) no matter how warranted the insult seems.  Neither is the heteronormativity inherent in numbers 19, 22, 46, and 73, although the Freudian slip in number 22 is pretty funny.

Basic survival skills aren’t manly, unless the author of the article is trying to imply that graciousness and humility are manly, and is working under the assumption that the majority of Esquire readers have someone else to make their beds (number 31) and tie their bow ties (number 16).  Nothing on the list is exclusively masculine, and it irritates me that things that I consider mandatory are “skills” according to the author.  Can you imagine a resume with this list on it?

Regardless, I’ll be telling jokes (number 38) and speaking respectfully to whomever I meet (numbers 12, 40, 41, and 42).

Pass the chamomile, please.


It Gets Better Project

I’m an avid listener of the Savage Lovecast, and have been since I was in about grade 11.  I just love Dan Savage’s perspective and sense of humour, and I really appreciate his political statements.  He’s this huge part of what I know about sex and sexuality, and I really appreciate his candor.

Recently he started the It Gets Better Project.  I think it’s fabulous.  It’s all about telling LGBTQ and other bullied youth that life gets better after high school, and it’s so good.  I honestly wish that this was around when I was in junior high, when I and my best friend who was bisexual were having rocks thrown at us for me not looking white enough and her not being straight enough.

It’s great, too, who has contributed a video to the message.  Obviously, Dan Savage’s video is inspirational, but the other videos just compound the message;  queer youth and being bullied, and it’s not fair.  Barack Obama, Sarah Silverman, city Councillor Joel Burns, Hilary Clinton, and Joe Biden have all contributed, along with a bunch of pop stars whose names I don’t recognize because I’m not in junior high anymore.  (I also have no idea how to pronounce a name that has a dollar sign right in the middle of it but I guess I’m just old.)  Queer staff at facebook have also contributed, which is really cool because it demonstrates that you can not only move on socially, but you can also work a job that you’ll enjoy.

So, whomever reads this, please look at this website and share it with your friends.  I’m thinking about contributing a video.  It got better for me.

And best wishes to all the friends and family of Justin Aeberg, Billy Lucas, Cody Barker, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Raymond Chase, and Tyler Clementi.  I’m so sorry for your loss.